2. Nice men and woman shouldn’t feel this way
Contempt for your partner.
We tell ourselves nice people shouldn’t feel this way, so we suppress the feeling, burying it deep down. That’s what makes it so insidious.
Relationship expert John Gottman describes contempt as the most destructive of all relationship threats. Gottman posits that long-simmering negative thoughts about one’s partner fuel a feeling that they deserve scorn and ridicule instead of love and respect.
Feelings of contempt simmer for months and years, making it a stealthy killer. It builds under the surface, allowing anger to build without resolution. When it overwhelms us, we erupt with personal attacks laced with mean-spirited sarcasm.